Duplicity

Social Engagement Activity:

How to play conversational tennis

Whether you’re looking to liven up a presentation or just make the most out of an opportunity with someone, try a technique called ‘playing conversational tennis’.

The idea is that great conversations resemble a game of tennis: they feature back and forth rallies where two people are heavily involved, as things build in both pace and enjoyment.

Sometimes these ‘rallies’ will go on for hours; other times they’ll provide you with a short but important opportunity to make a lasting impression on someone through a fulfilling interaction.

So how exactly do we play conversational tennis?

These are the three keys to playing conversational tennis effectively:

TIP #1: Much like in an actual game of tennis, focusing on your opponent is key.

Let’s face it, people love talking about themselves.

But if you were to try this by simply sustaining a conversation by making it all about you, the other person is going to feel left out, bored or ignored. Instead use this focus on the other person’s feelings, thoughts or experiences when you genuinely wish to know more about what they’re saying.

TIP #2: Don’t just hit it back, take the time to rally with the other person.

You may think the goal of conversational tennis is to be quick moving. That’s not the case. Instead of just throwing a barrage of questions or comments at your subject, mix it up by asking a follow up question, or adding to the conversation with your own thoughts and experiences.

TIP #3: Body language

Much like an opponent who has been beaten mentally and is simply waiting for the formality of the game’s final whistle, you can tell how engaged someone is in conversation from across the room.

Sharing open body language (eyebrow raise, mirroring motions, gazing, smiling) is an invitation for more in the same way that closed body language (hands in pocket, crossing your arms, fidgeting) can represent a lack of engagement. Project open body language as much as possible during ‘conversational tennis’.

The key to good conversations much like a good game of tennis, is to keep the ball moving, skillfully play what you’re given, and build a rapport much like you would a rally.

Sources:

http://simplypsyched.com/conversational-tennis/

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/body-language-examples/